The Rational Basis® of Happiness Podcast

I understand there's a problem with Gage Patron. See, yeah, besides the behavior problem, he won't do homework, and his test scores are... I'm not interested in any of that. I'm interested in why, when this school is on the brink of winning its first state championship in 15 years, you slap a crucial member of that team with a failing mark that would force his removal. Is that how you show your school spirit? You're asking me to change his grade?

And that's from Buffy. And Willow is in a terrible situation where she has to decide whether or not to have the courage to speak her mind and say, "You want me to fake reality? I didn't flunk him. He flunked himself." She has to have the courage to speak her own mind. Do you have the courage to speak your own mind when you hear a co-worker say something totally irrational? Or maybe you're sitting at a holiday meal, and your father says something irrational, or you're listening to the news or a talk radio show and you hear something blatantly evil, and you want to speak up. What keeps you from calling in or speaking up to those people or writing a letter to the editor?

With me today is a woman who has learned the skills to speak up for her values, to fight for rational values. She is Lynn Zinser, an attorney and vice president of the Ayn Rand Center for Individual Rights, which is a division of the Ayn Rand Institute. And she knows the psychological benefits of acting on your values. She's a prominent, passionate intellectual activist who is helping us all to preserve our freedom. Let's learn from her. Welcome, Lynn.

Thank you. Ellen, it's great to be here.

Yeah. And what is an intellectual activist?

Well, an intellectual activist is one who promotes change in the culture and society that they live in through ideas. In my case, I seek to promote cultural change by promoting rational ideas in the culture.

So tell me a little bit about how you describe yourself before you became an activist, and now, what did you do to become an activist?

Before I was an attorney, and I was doing like most people do, making a living, sharing my life with my family and friends, and I was frustrated. I felt I was upset by current events. I felt frustrated that the culture was not as good and rational as I thought it should be, but I felt intimidated. I thought there isn't anything I can do. What can one person do? I thought the government was too intrusive in business, for example, and that government regulations overran many businesses, but I felt I could do nothing about it. So...

Powerless.

Powerless, yeah, just standing in front, sighted.

Yeah, and then, in fact...

I'm sorry, go ahead.

And in fact, one of the things is that this never happened with me, but many people I know stop reading the newspaper because they don't want to see... they're tired of reading about things that they feel they have nothing to do, that they can do nothing about.

So the news... they just... they kind of become ostriches. They stick their head in the sand, and they just live their lives as if nothing dangerous is happening outside of their sphere of interest, their personal sphere of interest when we have a big problem going on. But what does that leave you feeling? I know I did the same thing. I felt like... I felt numbed when I started to see what was happening in the government. Totally numbed, stunned, and I just... I know too much about socialism and communism and fascism. You know, I've read Atlas Shrugged many times, the book by Ayn Rand, which I recommend to everyone. And I just... I just felt chilled and paralyzed, though, and I didn't know how to get myself moving. It just felt like it was a tsunami coming over me. And I don't know if that sounds like what you're describing, although it doesn't sound like you had as bad a case as I did.

No, I know. I think I did. I felt... I felt like there was nothing I could do, and that it might be dangerous for me to speak up because I worked in a larger law firm, and that it might be, you know, that might not be a good thing for me to do. I also felt... I mean, I wouldn't even speak up among my peers about what I thought was wrong with, with... and what should be done and what changed.

Hey, I got to interrupt this because we've got to pay some bills. 30 seconds, that's it. A very quick ad, and then Ellen will be back.

Romance. Oh, I wish guys knew more about what we want from a relationship. Boy, I wish I knew more about what I want. Where's that ad I saw? Here it is: The Selfish Path to Romance, a serious romance guidebook. Download chapter one for free at selfishromance.com and buy it at amazon.com. Hmm, The Selfish Path to Romance... that is interesting.

I mean, I wouldn't even speak up among my peers about what I thought was wrong with, with... and what should be done and what changed. Well, in 19... or in about four years ago, I went to a meeting and learned that our state legislature, I was living in Colorado at the time, had set up a commission to reform state healthcare in Colorado towards the Massachusetts style, and all of the commission members except one favored this government-run healthcare. And that made me mad. Yeah, I had two friends who were doctors in Colorado, and when I talked with them about it, both of them told me that when they would leave the state, and I didn't want that to happen. Plus, a month earlier, we just had an election in Colorado, and there was a referendum for a constitutional amendment that won by 3% of the vote, and I hadn't really spoken out against it, and no one else had. Yeah, and I think it passed simply because there was no real opposition. So in that case, in that election, that 3% was about 1,500 voters, which isn't very many.

So that means... that's that guilt that you can feel. Oh, my God, I wish I had spoken up. It's too late now...

Yes, yes. And so I thought I was not going to let a similar thing happen in Colorado to healthcare. I would fight.

How did you gain personally, going from a state of feeling powerless and frustrated and angry or mad and just feeling that you're living in a dangerous world? How did you gain personally from fighting?

It was... it was remarkable. First, I gained confidence and pride in myself that I spoke up, and I also gained... because the fact that I spoke up, others... I heard from others, and I saw letters to the editor that mirrored my opposition. And I was surprised at that, because many times I didn't even know who these people were. So...

Sometimes it's a catalyst. One person starts it and gives people the words, the voice to speak up on their own too, and the courage, yeah, the courage to do it. And so psychologically, it changes your whole outlook on the world. You don't feel powerless, you feel empowered. You don't feel frustrated because... you still feel frustrated because it's not moving fast enough, but you are doing something, which is wonderful.

If what advice could you give to somebody who's listening and doesn't have the... they're frustrated, but they haven't the first idea of where to begin? If you had to give a friend of mine or yours, or just some random person that was a real decent person advice, what would you say to them?

Okay? I would say, pick one issue that you care about. Learn about it, learn the facts and the details about it, and start speaking up, okay? With your friends and your family.

And I think the key point is to speak up, but get the facts first. Just don't go on your gut feelings.

Lynn, this is wonderful being with you today.

What is your website?

It's AynRandCenter.org.

A-Y-N-R-A-N-D Center.org.

Okay, and this is Lynn Zinser from the Ayn Rand Center. Thanks for being with us today, Lynn.

Thank you.

For more Dr. Kenner podcasts, go to DrKenner.com. And please listen to this.

NAD,

Here's an excerpt from The Selfish Path to Romance by clinical psychologist Dr. Ellen Kenner.

Another skill necessary for effective communication between romantic partners is speaking assertively. Let's say that Paul and Sarah are discussing an upcoming holiday, and Sarah assumes they will spend it with her dysfunctional family. Paul, however, prefers a private getaway for the two of them in the Bahamas, or even going to a restaurant by themselves for a cozy holiday dinner. One wrong approach Paul might use is to talk aggressively. He might say, "Why the heck do we have to spend the day with those jerks? You always feel you need to please your family. I'm not wasting my time with your crazy family. I don't care what you do." This aggressive approach is referred to as finger-pointing language, or "you" language, since the essence of it is an attack on the character of the listener.

You can download chapter one for free at DrKenner.com and you can buy the book at Amazon.com.