Dr. Ellen Kenner The Rational Basis of Happiness, Table of Contents

The Selfish Path to Romance

Chapter 1: What Is Romantic Love?
- The Visibility Principle
Chapter 2: Altruism and Narcissism:
- Two Approaches to Love That Do Not Work
- Altruism
- Narcissism
- The "Magical" Affinity of Altruists and Narcissists
Chapter 3: True Romantic Love Is Egoistic
Chapter 4: Understanding Love top

Chapter 5: Building Moral Character
- Core Virtues (read an excerpt now)
- Rationality
- Honesty
- Integrity
- Independence
- Justice
- Productivity
- Pride
- The Immorality of Threatening or Initiating Physical Force Against Others
Chapter 6: Developing Genuine Self-Esteem
- Faked Self-Esteem and Defensive Maneuvers
- Temporary Blows to Self-Esteem and Recovery
- Learn to Understand Yourself Through Introspection
Chapter 7: Values, Appearance, and Communication
- Become a Passionate Valuer
- Care About Your Appearance
- Learn How to Communicate top

Chapter 12: How to Cherish Your Partner I
- Show That You Value Your Partner
- Work to Understand Your Partner
- Encourage Your Partner to Pursue His or Her Values
Chapter 13: How to Cherish Your Partner II
- Communicate Constantly
Chapter 14: How to Cherish Your Partner III
- Show Concern for Your Partner's Welfare
- Show Generosity
- Make Decisions Together
- Respect Your Partner's Need for Private Time
Chapter 15: Creating a Positive Emotional Climate
- Build a Positive Mood
- Take Joy in Each Other's Achievements
- Grow Together
- Show Playfulness and Humor
- Help Protect One Another Against Stress
Chapter 16: Love Destroyers and How to Fix Them
- Correct Bad Manners and Bad Habits
- Replace Anger with Positives
- Replace Repression with the Ability to Feel and Express Emotions
- Replace White Lies with the Truth
- Don't Let Relatives or Children Undermine Your Relationship
- Don't Let Money Issues Undermine Love top

Chapter 17: Understanding What Sex Is and Why It's Good
Chapter 18: Creating Intimacy and Mood
- Emotional Intimacy
- Mood
Chapter 19: Technique, Afterplay and Feedback
- Technique
- Afterplay and Feedback
Chapter 20: Prioritizing Sex and Overcoming Subverters of Sexual Pleasure
- Prioritizing Sex
- Overcoming Subverters of Sexual Pleasure
- Anger
- Fatigue
- Too Much "Other" Focus
- Children top

Chapter 21: Causes of Conflict I
- Why Some Conflict is Inevitable in All Relationships
- How Differences Between Partners Cause Conflict
- Making Reasonable Differences into Moral Issues
- Expectations of "Mind Reading"
Chapter 22: Causes of Conflict II
- Violations of the Trader Relationship
- Insufficient Time Together
- Gender Differences
Chapter 23: Communication Methods That Do Not Work
- Attacks Using "You" Language
- Global Language
- Faking "Niceness"
Chapter 24: Communication Methods That Work
- Nip Escalating Tensions in the Bud
- Healthy Assertiveness
- How to Actively Listen to Your Partner
Chapter 25: Compromise and Dealing with Your Partner's Resistance
- When Should You Compromise and How
- Do You Do So Fairly
- Dealing with Your Partner's Resistance top

1. Identifying Reasons You're Considering a Divorce
2. Identifying Barriers Keeping You in an Unsatisfactory Relationship
3. Making the Final Decision: Tying All the Relevant Evidence Together
4. Breaking the News to Your Partner
5. Setting up an Atmosphere of Respect. Even When There are Disagreements
6. Helping Your Children Through the Divorce
7. Going Public with Family and Friends
8. Making an Action Plan for Your Divorce
9. Learning to Live Independently and Taking New Steps Toward Romantic Happiness top