The Rational Basis® of Happiness Podcast

(this is raw unedited text, computer transcribed directly from the audio, without voice inflection, pauses etc. Sometimes this results in the text implying the opposite of the intended meaning.)

(Micro ad) . . .
The Selfish Path to Romance - download chapter one for free at Dr kenner.com or at amazon.com.
=======

David, you're looking for some ideas on how to be happier at your job.

Yes, I am. Currently I have a job at a legal staffing firm, which has been fine for the past few months or so. I'm just recently out of college and that job is good, but not what I'm looking for. I majored in Italian, I hope to become an Italian professor, Italian high school teacher. And I've just become discouraged. Because I feel like I'm looking almost everywhere. And I can't find either a teaching position that I could have without a master's right now. Or a steady tutoring position or internship or provide like a decent amount of compensation in that area. So sometimes I feel like I'm just existing and going through the daily grind and not performing and doing something that I love every day.

Okay, so that's, that's difficult. If you look at it as a transition period for yourself that you're in legal staffing right now, did I get that right? Yeah, you're in legal staffing, but it is only a holding spot for your eventual career and what you love is teaching Italian the language PHFA yes, that means Pleased to meet you. Right? Well, no, do it today quite throw. So I wish you were around. Where are you located in New York City. Now that's not going to help I'm in Rhode Island. Although I'd have the same accent as the New Yorker as a little bit of the Brooklyn, we cut off our hours and put them where they don't belong. But you know that in New York City, you have got such a huge population is there no need at all for an interpreter or interpretive services.

I've tried looking into translation interpretation companies, they say a lot of it is kind of diminished because of things such as translation website. Everything I learned in college, I was fortunate to have an internship at an Italian law firm in New York, oh, I got to speak Italian with the lawyers performing administrative duties. They prepared me really to go study abroad, I got to study in Tuscany, which was great. But as for finding a profitable job, right now, before I started a master's program, hopefully in January, it's just, it's been tough also, because you know, I'm 22. And I feel like I'm told and 22. And it's just a lot to handle when I'm not loving the position where I am right now. I feel like I could take criticism, constructive criticism if I were in a work environment that I felt I would be learning from. But since I'm not in love with the job at all, I It's hard to deal with those daily things.

Okay, so what, let me tell you first, what I hear is one of your strengths, you're a go getter, you have a specific, specific goal, that you want to be a professor or a high school teacher of Italian, and you're out there looking for jobs, you're not just sitting home passively hoping something falls in your lap or manna from heaven is something right? And you've had experience you know, you're so I want to say you're so young, you're relatively young, you're energetic, you're aspiring for good things. So all of that's wonderful. So how do you find a job in New York City? In your career? Can you would you be interested in being a tour guide for Italians, or I don't know what you've looked at so far? You know, I'm just thinking of brainstorming.

Oh, sure. I mean, I've looked at very random types of things. I have had professors who say, you know, you never know what's going to come your way when you're first looking for jobs like this so I had one professor who got a deal translating German for English to German for like a coal mining company, you're up to strange things so I am on the lookout for those types of things for Italian it's just I can't find something right now and I you know, it will come I keep trying to look but I'm just right now I can't find something that'll you know make ends meet every day.

Okay, so let me sum up what I'm hearing so far. Number one, you want to consider it a transition period because if you look at it at the nose the rejections that you're getting, we don't need anybody where you know, thank you for inquiring, but no, thank you. If they are good job search usually involves many, many knows, you know, so a good set job search sounds like the following David. Now Oh, no, no, no, no, no each one of those being your potential lead that you have no, no, no. And then guess what comes to the end of that? Yes, uh, yes. When I first read that in one of the job hunting books years ago, I thought, Oh, yeah. So Elon, when you're out there looking for, for getting back into grad school, which I was doing, I prepared myself to get a lot of nose, because I was just looking for that one. Yes. So part of it is that having that knowledge that you have a marketable skill. As I said, if you were in Rhode Island, you know, I would love some tutoring. Because I have an Italian daughter in law. And so, it's a marketable skill. You're in a huge city. And it's just really using another skill, which is spreading your net wide. Being willing to get rejections paper, you're wolf with your rejections. You're just wanting to get one? Yes. With the legal staffing. Is there anything you enjoy in it that can make your day a little more pleasant?

Sure, I mean, placing people into their dream job is pleasurable. I mean, I'm an assistant to recruiters who are ex lawyers and have that experience. So I am learning from them. And it's a positive experience.

Yeah. Okay, we're just winding down on time, focus on the positive the positives there, you're also getting into a master's program in January. If you speak to the people who are in that program. You may have already done this, but try to see if there are any teaching or any related opportunities, even temporary volunteer one in the evening that could give me a foot in the door for another job. Listen, if you want to hold on during the break, I'll talk to you in a moment

===========

And here's a little more from Dr. Kenner.

(From a movie)
I'm having a very tough time at home. My father doesn't understand me and Phyllis hates me. Sounds tough. That's why I have to lie. Sometimes. You won't tell me Well, you got to think it over Nino's now, but my father says it all he just had bad luck. And he lost his job for talking back. So hot headed. Comes expensive. Yes, my father thinks nobody's good enough for his daughter.

And that's from the movie Double Indemnity. And when is it okay to lie? Is it ever okay to lie? What does it do to you? If you lie in a situation where you know, you're trying to get something for nothing you're trying to cut corners are trying to get a job that you know, you wouldn't get if you didn't have some credentials? Or you're lying to someone you're dating, telling them you're not the age that you actually are you present yourself as younger or you put a picture of yourself on the internet for dating, and it's not quite up to date, it might be 10 or 15 years old. What does it do to you when you do things like that? Are there situations in which situations in which it's proper to lie? Is there such a thing as a moral lie? In the example that I heard that convinced me that you don't have a blank check to lie because you don't you do on a policy a principle of integrity for yourself. However, there are situations where somebody is trying to use your honesty as a weapon against you. And the really clear situation would be a child molester coming to your door, you have children inside and the child molester says Do you have any children inside? What do you answer? Yes, I have three children in their beds. And what do you say to them? No, I you know, we're a childless couple. And we don't have any children here knowing that you have three children. In that case, you can decide is it moral to lie? If you don't lie, and you if you tell the truth, who are you putting at risk. So I say that there is such a thing as a moral lie. But that does not give you carte carte blanche to to be able to lie anytime you want. It's very limited. Very specific situations when somebody is using your honesty as a weapon to get something your children in that case that does not belong to them.

=========
For more Dr. Kenner podcasts, go to Dr. Kenner.com. And please listen to this ad . . .

Here's an excerpt from the selfish path to romance the serious romance guide book by clinical psychologist Dr. Ellen Kenner and co author Dr. Edwin Locke, who is world famous for his theories on goal setting:

If you think your partner is being unfair, a way to avoid overreacting is to take some time to privately sought out your feelings and your thoughts. Let's say Aaron is extremely upset with Jane's purchases too angry to effectively talk with At the moment, he could buy himself some cool downtime by saying, Jane, I'm too angry right now to talk about this sensibly. I'm taking some time to sort out my thoughts and feelings. Let's touch base later today and talk about it. By handling his anger. This way, Aaron avoids giving Jane the silent treatment or playing mind games walking away in a huff without letting her know why he's leaving and without giving any indication of when he'll return. Instead, Aaron openly lets Jane know that he's too upset to talk at this time and that he's committed to figuring out why he feels so angry and what action would help resolve the issue.

You can download chapter one for free by going to DrKenner.com, and you can buy The Selfish Path to Romance at amazon.com