The Rational Basis® of Happiness Podcast

The Selfish path to romance. Download chapter one for free at DoctorKenner.com

My name is Justin, and I'm depressed. I am only 17, and I drink and smoke, and I don't know if for some reason I'm depressed. I've had a hard life.

I don't know what's wrong with me?

I just need help. Okay, he just drifted off like that. I don't know what's wrong with me. For some reason, I'm depressed. I've had a hard life. Now, the good stuff in this is, Justin, you made the effort to pick up the phone and make a phone call. This is a call for help. This is definitely a call for help, but you want to call a clinical therapist in your area. I will give you some tips. You can call, you can look up on the web the Academyofct.org, that's cognitive therapy. That's also one strong in one word, and see if there's a therapist in your neck of the woods who does cognitive therapy. You're only 17 years old, you need to know something very important, a lifetime skill that most of us go to our grave never learning. We swim in our emotions and we don't know how to pause. And instead of saying, for some reason I'm depressed, to be able to say, well, what am I saying to myself? What are the reasons I'm depressed? And to know that depression means that you're dealing with a loss. Well, what are the losses in your life? You had a hard life? Does that mean that your parents were alcoholic, drug dealing, or they were just bums, they never worked a day in their life, or that you're, you don't, you look real funny, and the kids made fun of you from a young age? You have to figure out specifically what the problem is, because you can never solve a problem until you can target in on the essence of it. The main reason. So you need to know how to decode your mood. If you're depressed, that means loss. You look for losses. If you're anxious, that means uncertainties. What is uncertain? You know you drink and you smoke, so that would be one step in getting better is to figure out how to change those. What are you trying to drown with the drinking? And when we come back, I'll talk about this for

more Dr. Kenner podcasts. Go to DrKenner.com and please listen to this:

Here's an excerpt from The Selfish Path to Romance by clinical psychologist Dr. Ellen Kenner. It is

essential that partners take the time to show their love for one another as often as is feasible, do this in both actions and in words. But what if a partner refuses to listen or respond, for example, using the silent treatment? This may be an attempt to control you by deliberately causing you to feel intimidated, helpless, upset, and even desperate. It is a cruel way for a partner to act and must not be tolerated for long. Either both communicate or there's no relationship. The bottom line in communication is that romantic partners need to let each other know in word and deed that they fully value, understand, and accept each other, and that they are all each other needs and wants as a lover. You

can download chapter one for free by going to DrKenner.com and you can buy the book at Amazon.com