The Rational Basis® of Happiness Podcast

Ann Fletcher, a health and medical journalist, discussed her book Sober for Good, which explores alcohol recovery without relying on a higher power. Fletcher surveyed 222 people, finding that 97 recovered through AA, while 125 used alternative methods. She highlighted secular organizations like SOS, Women for Sobriety, and SMART Recovery, which focus on psychological principles. Fletcher debunked myths about lifelong recovery and the necessity of hitting rock bottom, emphasizing that recovery can be long-term and personalized. She also noted that while the "one day at a time" philosophy can be beneficial, it can also be limiting if not used strategically.

Action Items:

Recommend the book Sober for Good by Ann Fletcher to listeners who are struggling with alcohol problems and looking for alternative approaches.
Provide information on the websites and philosophies of alternative recovery groups like SOS, Women for Sobriety, and SMART Recovery.
Discuss common myths and misconceptions about alcohol recovery that can be harmful to people seeking help.
Outline:

Alternatives to AA for Alcohol Recovery
Speaker 1 introduces Ann Fletcher, highlighting her work on alcohol problems and her book Sober for Good.
Ann Fletcher discusses her research on alcohol recovery, comparing AA's 12-step approach with other methods.
Ann mentions that many people recover without believing in a higher power, challenging the notion that spirituality is essential for recovery.
Ann shares that some people find AA's higher power concept incompatible with their scientific or non-spiritual beliefs.
Secular and Alternative Recovery Groups
Ann introduces secular organizations for sobriety (SOS) and Women for Sobriety as alternatives to AA.
Women for Sobriety focuses on empowering women and building self-esteem rather than emphasizing powerlessness.
SMART Recovery is based on psychological principles and does not require spirituality, focusing on managing urges and not drinking.
Ann notes that these alternative groups have fewer face-to-face meetings but offer online support.
Myths in Alcohol Recovery
Ann discusses common myths in alcohol recovery, such as the need to be in recovery forever and the requirement to attend recovery meetings lifelong.
Ann shares that some people find it helpful to see themselves as recovered or cured, similar to how people view recovery from other habits.
Ann emphasizes that long-term commitment to sobriety is possible without the need for daily recovery meetings.
Ann explains that the "one day at a time" philosophy can be interpreted in different ways, some beneficial and others damaging.
Personal Recovery Stories and Myth Busting
Ann shares personal stories from her book, highlighting that recovery is possible without hitting rock bottom.
Ann discusses questions that help recognize when drinking is becoming a problem, such as avoiding medication due to drinking.
Ann emphasizes that early intervention in addressing drinking problems is possible and beneficial.
Ann concludes by encouraging people to seek help and not wait for their situation to worsen before taking action.
Conclusion and Additional Resources
Ann thanks the audience and reiterates the availability of her book Sober for Good for more information.
Speaker 1 promotes Ann's book and other resources available on her website, DrKenner.com.
The segment ends with a brief ad for The Selfish Path to Romance guidebook, promoting it for those seeking better understanding in relationships.
The ad highlights the importance of mutual judgment in dating and the inevitability of rejection before finding the right partner.
The Selfish Path to Romance. Download chapter one for free at DrKenner.com and on Amazon.

With me today is a woman who has done a lot of significant research on alcohol problems. So if you know of somebody who has been touched by alcohol in your life, maybe it's you, and you just can't seem to kick the habit, and AA isn't working for you—this one day at a time, and the seeking a higher power just backfires for you. What do you do?

One thing you can do is go out and get the book Sober for Good by Ann Fletcher, and she's with me today. She's an award-winning health and medical journalist. She's a best-selling author. She wrote Sober for Good and another book, Thin for Life: 10 Keys to Success from People Who Have Lost Weight and Kept It Off. But that's not our topic today—maybe for another day, and she can help you possibly move forward and say, "Use past tense" with your own alcohol problem. Welcome Ann.

Ann Fletcher: It's good to be with you.

Dr. Kenner: It's great to have you on the show. Tell me, what about that idea of, "I know I tried—I'm an alcoholic, and I've tried to give up. I've tried to quit, but I go to AA and they say 'one day at a time,' and I like thinking long-range. I don't get this 'one day at a time' bit. And then they tell me to turn to the higher power, and I can't find it, and they get frustrated with me." What would you tell me?

Ann Fletcher: Well, you know, I asked questions about those things. Of the 222 people I surveyed for Sober for Good, what I do is go out and find people who have overcome problems and look at the common threads, but I also, in this case, looked at similarities and differences amongst people who recovered using AA 12-step approaches and those who used their own methods. I had 97 who recovered with AA, but I had 125 who got sober with different ways—on their own or with lesser-known recovery groups. And what I found was that these people shattered many long-held assumptions about alcohol recovery, and one of them is that you have to have a higher power in order to get sober. I even had some people who went to AA who said to me, "You know, I like AA, but the higher power thing never—I never connected with that. I'm too much of a scientist, and my sobriety has nothing to do with having a higher power." There were other things about AA that obviously worked for that person. I had some people who said spirituality had nothing at all to do with their recovery.

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Ann Fletcher: There were other things about AA that obviously worked for that person. I had some people who said spirituality had nothing at all to do with their recovery. I had many people who said that spirituality is kind of a nebulous term. What does spirituality mean? But a lot of people said that spirituality played a role in their recovery. But it had nothing, it was nothing like the form of spirituality that goes on in AA, which is that you have to turn your problem and your life over to a higher power and accept that you are powerless over your life and alcohol in general.

Dr. Kenner: That’s one of the myths, right? AA keeps promoting that you have to make this one step, but it’s a barrier. It’s a deterrent for many people who are genuinely seeking help. And there are alternatives out there. I know we’ve talked about it before, but you could mention some of the groups out there that people could go to if they’re having problems with the higher power aspect.

Ann Fletcher: Well, one of them is called Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS), which has groups nationwide and a big website presence, as do all of these alternative groups that I’m going to mention. Women for Sobriety is a group, obviously for women, and its philosophy is very different from that of AA. Spirituality plays a role in Women for Sobriety, but it’s nothing like that at AA. The philosophy of Women for Sobriety is an empowering approach for women. It’s designed to build their self-esteem, rather than have them make amends and say they’re powerless, as is the case with AA. Another group that’s based on sound, research-based psychological principles is called SMART Recovery. SMART Recovery is based on the principles of the work of Dr. Albert Ellis. This approach looks at the connection between alcohol and problems in your life, learning skills for managing urges and not drinking. Spirituality is a separate issue that has nothing to do with recovery in this approach.

Dr. Kenner: That’s just some of the groups that are out there. You’ve mentioned that they even have websites, and you can attend meetings online if these groups aren’t available in your area.

Ann Fletcher: That’s right. You can attend meetings online because a lot of these alternative recovery groups don’t have as many face-to-face meetings as AA. There are more than 50,000 AA groups nationwide, but fewer than 1,000 of these alternatives that I just mentioned. So if you don’t have one of these in your community, you can go online and attend meetings or learn about their approaches through their websites.

Dr. Kenner: And you’ve also written about these groups in your book Sober for Good: New Solutions for Drinking Problems, Advice from Those Who Have Succeeded. I’m talking with Ann Fletcher, and in case you’re tuning in and wondering what we’re discussing, it’s alternatives to AA and different recovery methods. What are some of the other myths that have been so rampant in the alcohol recovery field that you think are destructive to people?

Ann Fletcher: Well, one of them is the idea that someone with a drinking problem has to be in recovery forever. I had one woman say to me, "I thought I had a drinking problem, but my cousin went to AA, and I didn’t want to go to recovery meetings for the rest of my life. I didn’t want to do that, and I didn’t want to call myself an alcoholic." Lots of people said similar things. You don’t have to call yourself an alcoholic. You don’t have to be in recovery forever. Some people told me they found it helpful to see themselves as recovered or cured. I mean, what other ailment or disease do we say, “There’s no cure for it”? If you stop smoking, you don’t say, “I’m in recovery from smoking.” You say, “I used to smoke.”

Dr. Kenner: I’m a lifetime smoker, right?

Ann Fletcher: Right. Or, “I stopped biting my nails,” and you don’t say, “I’m a nail biter.” Why would you identify yourself by a habit that you didn’t like and you kicked?

Dr. Kenner: Right.

Ann Fletcher: Another myth is that you have to go to recovery meetings for the rest of your life. Quite a few people who did overcome their drinking problems by attending recovery group meetings, whether it was AA or one of the alternatives, said they no longer felt the need to go. If they felt they were having a problem again, they would go back, but that phase of their life was done. They no longer needed to keep going. Another myth is the idea that you have to handle recovery “one day at a time.” You hear that all the time, right?

Dr. Kenner: Right.

Ann Fletcher: And I do think that’s a helpful philosophy. It helped me when I first stopped drinking because I struggled with this problem myself. Taking it one day at a time can be a great way to get started. But ultimately, many people told me that when they finally overcame their drinking problem, one of the important steps they took was facing the fact that they weren’t going to be able to drink again—they had to give up alcohol completely or completely change their relationship with alcohol. They made a lifetime or long-term commitment to sobriety.

Dr. Kenner: So that whole term, “one day at a time,” can be interpreted in two ways—one that’s beneficial and one that’s not. The unhelpful interpretation would be to say, “Don’t think long-range, just think about tomorrow. That’s it. Just think of today.” You don’t project long-range, you don’t set long-term goals, and you don’t think about how to manage future urges. That’s very damaging. But on the other hand, when you say, “Let’s focus on tomorrow—what’s the high-risk situation tomorrow? Now that you have all these skills and you’ve thought long-range, let’s focus in on what would be good for you tomorrow,” that’s a more positive way to use the concept. It’s an ambiguous term that can be used in two different ways.

Dr. Kenner: I know we’re down to one minute. What would be one myth that you personally would like to see shattered?

Ann Fletcher: Well, one of the myths I’d like to see shattered is the idea that you have to hit rock bottom before you can do something about your drinking problem. As some people said in the book, that idea just keeps some people digging deeper. It’s absurd to think that you can’t do something about a drinking problem before it gets really severe. That’s one of the reasons I decided to tell my story in the book. I saw the connection between alcohol and the problems I was having in my life, and I decided to do something about it. If you see that alcohol is starting to dominate your thinking, you can take action before it gets worse. In the book, I have a whole list of questions that people said helped them recognize when drinking was becoming a problem for them. They’re not the usual questions you see in medical books, but they ask things like, “Are you avoiding medication because you can’t drink when you’re on it?” or “Are you noticing that you’re drinking more than those around you?”

Dr. Kenner: I wish we could go through all the questions. Are they on your website?

Ann Fletcher: No, but they’re in the book.

Dr. Kenner: Okay, the book is Sober for Good, and it’s by Ann M. Fletcher. Thank you so much for joining us today.

Ann Fletcher: Thank you.

Dr. Kenner: It’s a wonderful book. You can also find other books on my website, DrKenner.com. It’s been great being with you this week, and I look forward to seeing you again next week.

For more Dr. Kenner podcasts, go to DrKenner.com, and please listen to this ad. Here’s an excerpt from The Selfish Path to Romance, the serious romance guidebook by clinical psychologist Dr. Ellen Kenner and Dr. Edwin Locke, who is world famous for his theories in goal setting.

Excerpt from The Selfish Path to Romance:
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