Once every few years, my husband looks at me and says "I'm so glad I'm not single." (I assume that he feels that sentiment more often than that.) What if you are single and longing to have a loving partner, what steps can you take to achieve that state of bliss?
You've tried them all. You've dressed to impress. You've joined your local health club. You've met women or men from ads in the local papers. You've plunked down big bucks with a dating service. You've learned lots of icebreakers to get conversations rolling…and you've discovered that there's "no one out there for you".
But here's another angle to dating. Pamper yourself or more accurately, give yourself a lot of good loving attention. Imagine going to a psychological spa. You get to take a close-up look at yourself from a self-valuing point of view, not from the critical parent point of view nor from a "what-you-see-is-what-you-get" passive point of view. Take note of what you like about yourself. Take note of what you want to improve. In a newspaper article by Hopson, Hopson and Taylor titled Strategies for the Single Who is Looking, the authors suggest the following: ``Stop to take a personal inventory. Think of yourself as a magnet. We attract people into our lives who have many of our own qualities. Imagine the male or female version of yourself. Do you like what you see? If not, which qualities do you need to work on?"
It throws things into a different light when you view yourself from the perspective of an imagined partner who is just like you.
Now let's say you take inventory of yourself and you get the attention and skills to improve your life at this psychological spa. After spending a few months there, you emerge as ``the you" you've always wished you were. You have a career path that you love. You have learned some time management and financial management skills. You are more proficient at communicating openly, honestly, directly and tactfully. You have an inner feeling of physical stamina and healthiness. You have improved your own self-esteem.
Although you still have to go through the trials and tribulations of meeting many potential partners, it's easier. When you set off to look for a lifelong partner, you will be more likely to attract someone who values himself as you value yourself. And that will help make any relationship with this person a mutual pleasure. You'll be glad you're no longer single, rather than wishing you were single once more and wondering why you ever trapped yourself into a fool relationship with some financially irresponsible, hollering blob of a couch potato.