The Rational Basis® of Happiness Podcast

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And right now I want to welcome Piper. You're worried about your stepmom?

I have spent a great deal of time I'm actually getting a bachelor's in psychology. And the reason why I drew these conclusions, I think she might be a danger to herself and others, but I wanted a professional opinion. Okay, it's just me being paranoid because I'm a single mother of a one year old little girl. Paranoia kind of.

Okay, so I understand that, tell me what you're observing.

I've noticed that if she's got aggressive behaviors, and when she gets into arguments with people, she tends to threaten to kill them. Oh, and then this, about last year, she got laid off from factory jobs. And this was over the phone as she threatened to burn down the building. And just the other month because the camera turned up proof. She threatened to slide somebody's throat.

Okay. So, okay, so basically, what I'm hearing is that what you've got is not paranoia. If she's actually been saying these things. These are not I mean, assuming she's not a comedian, and this is what she does on the side, and she says it with a big smile on her face. Assuming that she's genuinely serious about this, I would not want my one year old around her. Tell me a little bit more about what goes on with your one year old does she babysit?

No ever since this behavior actually really started. I don't really let her stay with my daughter unless she sits back by me or my dad or her daughter. Yeah. And so that way, she can be monitored at all time. And it is kind of like, I trust her daddy, who loved us for His I trust him more than her. And that's kind of a bad thing.

I would not want her around my child at all. I mean, if she you're saying that she threatened to burn down her place of business, and she's threatened to kill people. Yeah, I definitely would not want her around my child.

And the reason why I came to conclusion and this is because she's also said how she's had a bad childhood and how her mama, I think, like 15, she's been on her own. And she's dealt with, since about 2010. She's dealt with over 21 years of both physical and mental abuse from her late husband. So that would also help me draw to the conclusion.

No, I think you're right on. I mean, I don't think there's any question about it, because number one, you've heard her say these things. It's from multiple sources. It isn't just hearsay. And she herself is saying that she has been a victim of physical abuse. And she's with you said the dad. And he's the pothead.

No, oh, I'm I said, I trust my daughter's dad. He's not exactly a pothead. He just he's trusted potheads over, maybe. And he's really abandoned mine. And so I trust him more than I do my stepmom with Kyndra. Okay, that's how, that's how scared I am of her. Okay, she's not only done this, like, she's done this with me and her daughter. And this morning, she bit her daughter and her daughter's like right now sitting in jail because of her.

Well Tell me about that . . .

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Hey, I gotta interrupt this because we've got to pay some bills. 30 seconds. That's it. A very quick break and then Ellen will be back.

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And her daughter's like right now sitting in jail because of her.

Well tell me about that.

Her daughter was in jail because of her because it was considered domestic assault. And because supposedly she was using self defense and this kind of physical argument that they've had. It has been more she's been known to hit her like beat on her daughter. And she's been known to throw tears. She tried to grow Miracle Grow at my head one. And her daughter is sitting in

Girl, do you have to have any contact with her?

Technically, My apartment is attached to my dad's house.

Oh, do you have any options?

I'm not really. Oh, I have an option that's been moving in with her dad with my daughter's dad.

And how soon would that be?

About a month?

I've already said that, as I'm moving out, I'm getting an order of protection against her. Users, I don't feel safe enough told my dad that I don't want her around my daughter, unless she shows me proof from a therapist, or a mental institution that she's okay to be around in my daughter, I just don't feel safe until I've seen the paperwork.

Listen, the value at stake is so incredibly high Piper, it's your daughter, it's your life, it's your daughter's life, you have so much information on the on your step mother right now that I would definitely check out what you can do to get a no contact or restraining order. Now you may not be able to because sometimes the person actually has to have made an aggressive act towards you. But if she's already done some things, you know, you want to look into it legally, to try to get some protection for yourself. The idea of having somebody there monitoring her when you're in her presence. Listen, if she's aggressive, something can flare up, and she can act before any even if someone's monitoring her. You know, actions can happen very quickly if she's bad, irrational. And so I'm not that comfortable with her even doing the monitoring.

And, secondarily, it's not a pleasure to be around in an environment where you have to monitor, not just your daughter's playfulness, you know, make sure she doesn't bump into a little table, but you have to monitor whether someone's going to become aggressive towards you or your daughter. You know, that's that's an environment. You know, I, we I know somebody who steals money from people's purses. a kleptomaniac. They call it but I think they're a thief. And I don't like being in that person's presence. Because what do I have to focus on every time I'm around them? My purse, right, and other people's purses. And so I don't like the pressure of having to constantly monitor when I want to be enjoying other than, you know, my friend's company, not that particular one, but my other friends that are there. So yours is far more serious than just a pickpocket. Yours is talking about your own physical safety and to put yourself and your daughter in that in that environment. You don't want to do that to yourself. In addition to that, you sound intelligent, you're back in school, you're getting your bachelor's in psychology, you said no, and you're learning from that. So kudos to you. Congratulations.

It's not it's not just that I've also spent a great deal of time watching Criminal Minds. Throughout my senior year in high school, Okay, done, I focused like on the criminals, my senior paper was on the mind of this serial killer because I think minds fascinate me at how they work and how they can be.

What I would recommend to you highly recommend to you is also to focus on the mind of decent people. Because you not only do you need to protect yourself from criminals, but you want to search out better people so that you can really enjoy good people in your life. So look at both ends of the spectrum so that you don't feel like the world is populated with criminals. There is a very good book inside the criminal mind by Stanton same now. And to counter that I would read well, I would recommend reading my favorite novel, which is Atlas Shrugged. You would need to be on vacation. Because if you read it when you're in school, you'll probably enjoy the book so much that you won't want to study. So, I wish you the best and I wish you a lot of safety and love with your daughter. You said her name's Kendra. Yeah, thank you so much and Kendra and Ashley consider her my salvation because I went through a great deal of depression with her father.

Wonderful. Listen, thank you for the call.

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For more Dr. Kenner podcasts go to DrKenner.com. And please listen to this ad . . .

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